The Caffeinated Chef

2011-08-17T09:30:00.000-07:00

I was looking back at some of my old posts and realized I had posted for my daughters birthday but quit before my sons. Brandon turned 10 years old on Sunday. I honestly cant believe how big he is. I drop him off at the intermediate school in the mornings and I keep thinking "you're too little for this big school". I asked him the other day as we were headed there if he missed elementary school and he replied in usual Brandon speak, "no I'm ready to transition".

The problem is I don't think I am. I miss my little bubba, which by the way he has asked us not to call him in public but I will forever anyway. I miss the little him running around, peeing in the front yard, and throwing rocks through the neighbors van window.

That's crazy I know but I still miss that boy. Fortunately he is growing into the most amazing, caring, unselfish, giving person I have ever seen besides my Dad, which one day he will understand is a complement. I love him with all my heart and am sooooooooooo proud of that kid.

It's Been Too Long.

2011-08-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

I just remembered about this thing due to my wife updating hers, we both like to practice the art of procrastination, She likes to say I'm better at it but when you get a chance ask her about her school work.

Tons has happened this last year so I will just touch on a few of the high points. We went to California this year for vacation and took a couple of girls from our church group. They are like daughters to us and they kept out teenage foster daughter company and were just lots of fun to have around. Two out of the three girls had never seen the beach, which we stayed right by. They had never been to Disney Land which is unheard of I know, but we helped fulfill their dreams.

Summer was a blast, my son joined a swim team and did amazing for his first year, I really cant wait for next year.

My wife and I are still plugging away at school, its a long road but hopefully worth it in the end. I started running again and have a relay race in about a month, the RedRock Relay, its like 180 miles and there will be 12 of us so I decided to actually do a little training for this race, I know not my usual thing but we'll see how it goes.

2011-05-29T09:47:00.001-07:00

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2011-05-29T09:44:00.001-07:00

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Quarterly Update!

2010-09-01T20:56:00.001-07:00

Its time once again for my every other month post due to my slackeritis disease. I contracted it sometime between the fifth and sixth grade and have been unable to find a cure yet.

Luckily not much has happened over the last few months so this will be brief. I started school again and am 3 weeks away from officially being a bachelor in some line of expertise. That is correct, I will be considered an expert of sorts in the field of business management. If you have a business you need managed I will know how to do it in 3 weeks, give me a call to reserve your spot.

We got a new pet. I begged my wife and she finally caved and now she loves the little dog like one of her own. I kind of like him too. He is a miniature Yorkie and is pretty darn cute for a punter dog. For those of you who don't understand, that is a dog you can punt across the room when they yap. Its an actual law on the books I think.

I finally entered the world of Face book. That's right, all three of you can now be my friend on the wonderful world of Face book. I can see why it is so addicting, I have to fight my wife to get on the computer once in awhile just to look at it. She lets me for a few seconds before grabbing it back and hunkering over in the corner again, yep she has a problem also. Yes that's her at the gas station.

It's All Cory's Fault

2010-07-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

I'm going to die this Saturday. At sometime around 8:00 a.m. I will more than likely leave you all behind and go somewhere better than where I will be at that time. And it is all Cory's fault and I ask that you go after him to the full extent of whatever law you can.

Let me explain to you why I am blaming him in advance for something that I know is going to happen in the future. I'm sure you will come to see the logic in what I have to say. I read the blog of someone who I will only call Cory at this time, you can find out more about him by checking out the blogs I read. In this particular blog he ranted and raved about this amazing trail race coming up that you just had to try, remember it is AMAZING! I haven't really run much since the marathon last year because I ran that without training and hurt my foot. After months of doctors and rehab it feels pretty good and after reading his description I decided to sign up. My wife cautioned me that I may want to go run it before hand.....just in case. No, I thought, it's only 4 miles, I can handle that, plus I didn't recall Cory mentioning it being particularly difficult.

It sucks! I ran it today, and let me just say I think I might not make it back from this. It has what seems like a 500 foot drop off in the beginning. I'm not exaggerating this at all either, it is literally a drop off, sure it is a gravel road, but I'm fairly sure it is meant for mountain goats, not vehicles or people, especially people racing down it. Plus it hurts like crap, I think it might hurt less if I just tuck into a ball and roll down it.

Once I got to the bottom I couldn't figure out where it went from there. Sure there were some trails but every one I followed led me to nowhere, they just stopped. Now I have never been accused of being smart but seriously, they just stopped. After getting attacked by a massive, again not exaggerating at all, cloud of biting horse flies, I decided to head back because I had no clue where to go. Then I had to crawl, almost not kidding, back up the 1000 foot drop off I had just rolled down.

Fortunately for me that only describes the first part of the race, I still have to run another 3.5 miles. Besides that, no problem. I just hope the course is really marked well so they can find me later, or that they have anyone above 90 sign up so I have someone to follow that I can keep up with.

Worth the Effort

2010-06-07T15:15:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend we took the kids and went up to Zions to do a little relaxing during the free national park weekend we had. Our plan was to go up do a little hiking and then get an ice cream cone and relax for a bit.

We decided to do the Emerald Pools hike and intended to get up to the upper pools. In order to get there you have to first hike up and through the other two pools which we did pretty easy. The final bit up to the upper pond was a little more strenuous than I remember it being years ago, that or I am incredibly older than I used to be. Either way, there were plenty of times that I wanted to quit and head back down for that ice cream cone waiting at the bottom.

The next morning as I was doing a little scripture study in the morning it got me thinking about that hike again. Here I was on this beautiful hike and when it got rough, I didn't want to continue with it. I had been satisfied (I thought I was anyway) with how far we had hiked and the sights we had seen up to that point, how much was I really missing anyway? When we got to the second pool a lady came by and told us not to waste our time going any farther, because it looked the same as the middle one . It did not in fact look anything like the middle one, and we would have missed this fact had we trusted her interpretation of the hike.

At the start of the hike up from the second to the upper pond, the path became quite steep, rugged, and tiring and I remember asking on a couple of occasions whether everyone wanted to turn back and go home.

Luckily on this hike, much like in life I had surrounded myself with people who would not be satisfied settling for less than the best. No one wanted to stop but me and that pushed me on through the rough spots to the end result which I was able to share with my whole family.

While on this hike we had so many little inconveniences and annoyances, from rocks and dirt to these little bugs flying around our heads, to people telling us it wouldn't be worth the effort, yet every time I felt like quiting, those around me wouldn't let me until we finished the hike.

How thankful I am for a family that hasn't let me quit any of the hikes I have been on in my life. I'm a much better person because of them.

Happy Birthday Lou!

2010-06-03T05:00:00.000-07:00

Today is our baby girls sixth birthday. Every time I look at her I can't believe she has grown this big. She is such an amazing child with just the right mix of red headed fury and sweet sincere compassion. There are times where we wonder what we've gotten ourselves into but at the end of the day, she absolutely melts my heart and is the shining definition of a daddy's girl. She is the second best, or first best (if you ask her) hugger in the world and I count myself so lucky that she still loves to give them. She can be the shiest girl in the world or the biggest ham when the camera comes out. She has such a big heart and cares about everyone she sees. I love her with all my heart and can't wait to get home today so we can party! I love you Lou!

A Little Catching Up To Do

2010-05-11T15:56:00.000-07:00

As I was browsing some blogs today I noticed a couple things that cause me some distress. The first was that I had not posted in two months and the second was that my sister who is a slacker about posting had not posted in two months, effectively making me a slacker by association.

So here is a little catching up post just so I am not in that category any longer. The past two months have been pretty eventful for our family. We had become foster parents and received our first foster child. He was with us as a shelter child and stayed with us for about a month until he was able to be reunified with his mother. We had a lot of mixed feelings about him going. He was not a very easy infant to have because he came in with some illnesses that caused him a lot of discomfort and so it was tough, but we really grew to love him and were pretty sad when he had to go back. I hope he is happy and safe.

The second thing that happened was I decided to try this HCG diet thing after seeing a neighbor try it and lose a lot of weight. Now I have always struggled with weight issues and really wanted to find some way to help kick start a new me. I did the diet for one month and lost 30 lbs. It was a really crappy month for someone who cooks food for a living. I could only eat 500 calories a day. I was constantly running to the garbage can at work spitting out what I had just put in my mouth. Any good cook has to taste the food they cook, everyone knows this, but I couldn't and kept forgetting this fact until it was in my mouth. But I stuck with it which is more than I can say for any diet I have ever tried much to my wifes surprise, and was pretty successful with it. I feel a lot better now and thats the main point. Things are good for us right now, thats what life is all about right?

Dirtiest Place On Earth

2010-02-18T15:58:00.000-08:00

On our trip to the happiest place on earth we had to first make a pit stop here at an undisclosed gas station now know as the dirtiest place we've been. After coming out of this bathroom I felt less clean than when I went in. I almost washed my hand again in a puddle out front just to make sure they were clean.

I Won!

2010-01-30T22:04:00.000-08:00

We are staying at my sisters house in Springville for a baby blessing tomorrow. We are in a house with 11 kids running around. Luckily we have a Wal-Mart that stocks the wonder sleep aid known as melatonin. One of my nephews thought he could fight the effects of this and stay awake all night. We made a bet, turns out I won in under an hour!

Westate Border Wars

2010-01-23T15:05:00.000-08:00

Continuing in the awesome parent theme we have going we decided to take the kids to the movies today. Being the awesome and also cheap parents we are we made a pit stop to buy treats at a much cheaper rate than was being offered at the local theater. Yes, we understand this will offend some out there but really, who is more at fault, us or those that charge 3 bucks for a dollar candy....makes ya think doesn't it?
After watching a show called Border Wars we had the perfect way to sneak our product across the border and into the movie. Strapping it on the back of our youngest child seemed like a fairly decent option so why not try it? After getting out of the car and watching her struggle to not fall over backwards we decided that making a five year old carry snacks for twelve people might be mistaken for cruel punishment. We quickly split it between 3 purses and headed into the theater.

For the most part things went smoothly, only my sister Mary Jo seems to struggle. She looked nervous and jumpy every time she saw an employee. What a Rookie!!

Babysitting!

2010-01-22T15:19:00.000-08:00

My sister and her husband had to go to Las Vegas this weekend and we are watching two of their kids for them. We are hoping this will be a good experience for our kids because we are trying to get into the Foster program and they need some time with other children.

So far I get the feeling our daughter may have a bit of a hard time with someone else in the house. Last night my sisters daughter was having a hard time falling asleep and our daughter came down and proclaimed to us that Ava was going to go sleep in the hallway because she couldn't sleep. After explaining that our guests were in fact NOT going to be made to sleep in the hallway, we put them in separate rooms and within minutes both were sound asleep.

Today we had a little bathroom incident that our daughter decided she needed to be in charge of. Ava was in the bathroom and being the great parents and babysitters that we are we didn't have any toilet paper in that bathroom. My wife decided to send Kendal up with the toilet paper and thats where things went wrong. Ava informed Kendal she didn't need it any longer and because she wouldn't tell Kendal what she had used instead, Kendal decided that she needed to pull her hair because as anyone knows, thats is the most acceptable way of solving that type of problem.

They seem to have made up though and are now playing happily together. They just came down, grabbed some scissors, and headed back upstairs. Don't worry though, being the good parent that I am I forbade them from cutting anyones hair. I guess I should go check on them before my wife gets home just in case....

Meat Loaf Muffins

2010-01-06T17:33:00.000-08:00

I got a little bored tonight while my wife slaved away teaching piano lessons so I decided to make dinner.

Since I like to not follow recipes, this is what I came up with. Meat loaf in muffin tins, cauliflower mashed potatoes and I'm thinking homemade coconut macaroons for dessert.

I feel bad she's sitting in there working while I get to relax and do something I love.

I told the kids we were having muffins for dinner. They cheered and asked what kind. When I told them "Meat!" they were less than thrilled.

My daughters still hiding under the table in fear.

The Windows Of Heaven

2009-12-30T19:51:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite scriptures comes from the Old Testament, and deals with the law of tithing. I struggle for whatever reason with this commandment and I don't really know why. My parents taught me the importance of paying it and throughout my life I have been reminded that I need to keep this commandment.

My faith in it actually working isn't any excuse because I have plenty of that most of the time. But if I hadn't been blessed with such an amazing and strong wife, I think I would still struggle with following through on this one. She pays it, and because she pays it, I naturally pay it also. Because of her I continue to receive the blessings associated with, and mentioned in Malachi. The verse talks about the windows of Heaven being opened and blessings being given and this week was one of those times.

This has been my week up until today:
On Sunday I had to work, my wife called and told me she had paid our tithing as usual. Tuesday morning at 5 am on my way to work my truck died in the middle of the road and I pushed it off State street into the gas station where it was towed to the mechanics. I also get to have a root canal on Saturday. The only thing that went through my mind at the time, was doubt as to what kind of blessings we were receiving for paying our tithing. When I finally got to work I noticed that my heel was a little tender. Throughout the day it continued to get worse and by evening I found myself at the instacare where they told me I had plantar fasciitis and they couldn't tell me how I got it and when or if it would go away.

All of this really had me questioning the tithing thing but my wife and my mother were not convinced that we should have kept the tithing in case we needed it. Both of them let me know what was most important.

Here is what happened almost immediately after the doctors visit. My foot started to feel better, not a ton, but I can walk without limping too much. The mechanic called and said it was a faulty fuel pump that they had installed a couple months ago and he had fixed it under warranty. We also found out a gift card had been mailed to us that will really help us out, and I still get to have a root canal on Saturday. Three out of four isn't too bad right?

One of my many New Years resolutions is to more fully trust my Father in Heaven when he promises me that I will be taken care of if I will only do what he asks.

We Have A Pack Rat In Our House

2009-12-11T21:09:00.000-08:00

My wife does a really amazing job at keeping our house pretty well put together. Unfortunately we seem to have raised a small pack rat that lives in the room we've designated for our daughter. She never throws anything away, and always feels the need to "show off" her treasures by keeping them out in plain sight at all times, thus we seem to find scenes like this one tonight.

I don't even know where she got the chips from!

It's amazing that what crawls out of that mess every morning could possibly end up looking this cute. She had a tap recital tonight. She did awesome, we ate ice cream to celebrate, and she disappeared back into her cave for the night. It's easy to overlook the mess when she ends up looking like this.

Circus Fun Day 10

2009-12-11T20:50:00.000-08:00

This first picture reminds me a little of a circus or something. Our kids really loved driving down the street and seeing this.

This picture isn't even a picture of the front of the house, that wasn't decorated. This is a picture of the barn behind the house. Thats right, the barn has more style than the house.
Due to the fact that we seem to have scoured all of the area where we live, we've decided to take a few days off. We are going to travel a little and see what we can find further out from where we live. Keep checking back though, because we will post pictures as we find them.

It's Too Cold Outside - Day 9

2009-12-10T21:58:00.001-08:00

Due to the fact that our kids have gone to bed way too late the past week or so, we decided to take the night off from scouring the county in search of awesome lights. Below are two pictures we found on the internet to fill in during our absence tonight. Do not fear though, we will be back to work tomorrow night.

First is a shot of Temple Square. If you have never been up there during the Christmas season, you really need to make the trip sometime, it is incredible.

Second belongs to this way over the top house. We actually used to live across from a family that rivaled this one. I can only imagine what the power bill must be for something like this.The only thing missing from this house is.....well nothing, it pretty much has every conceivable light known to man.

Day #8 Drunken Santa!

2009-12-09T20:42:00.000-08:00

Our best is an awesome display of Christmas lights just down the street. I think it helps their chances that we both envy and lust slightly after the house in general, but this is by far the best for today.

Our worst belongs to the house with the drunken Santa passed out on the front porch. When our kids asked "who is that" as we stopped to take a picture, what could we say? Um....He's just a friend of daddy's...."why's he leaning on their house?".....Um...He fell asleep.

Flying Reindeer and Peeping Toms - Day 7

2009-12-08T21:25:00.000-08:00

This house is in "Town". Where we live, in the small city, to get things we go to "Town". So, this house is in "Town" and we love to look at it every year. I think they put more lights up every time we go. By the way, this picture does not do it justice.

Judging by where the reindeer landed, Santa's sleigh is kind of in trouble. It's a little blurry because the lady in the second story window kept watching us. I'm sure we looked like pervs taking pictures of someones house in the middle of the night. I'm pretty sure this could be considered a felony in some states.

See what we do for our adoring fans?

You're welcome.

Christmas Sentimentality - Day 6

2009-12-07T20:31:00.000-08:00

My best lights of the day go to the old hospital over by the Temple. This is based totally on sentimental issues. I remember seeing that display when I was much younger and for whatever reason just really liked it as a kid. So there you go, best of the day for me personally.

The not so best of the day is this one below. If you've ever wondered what a certain type of light might look like hanging from your home, here you go, just match the type of light you're thinking of buying with one of the many in this photo and there you have a good idea of how it may look when you get them home. Just make sure to keep your purchases to under three different types of lights per house please.

Christmas Contest - Day 5

2009-12-05T20:38:00.000-08:00

For our best today, someone mentioned to come by and take a look at her Temple Square worthy roses. We have to agree, they are beautiful!

For the worst, it took us 6 pictures to get the whole house. If you're short a few lights on your house, I'm sure you could head on over here and "borrow" some and they wouldn't even notice. I really am impressed with the amount of lights they have. I'm sure it took many, many hours to hang them all up. So while there is a few too many for my taste, it really is magnificent in person.

Because we are equal opportunists, we'd like to invite you to take a moment to make fun of us. We have no lights. And we probably won't have lights because it's too cold to hang them and then if we did, someone might make fun of them. So, commence with the heckling.

Christmas Fantasia - Day 4

2009-12-04T22:34:00.001-08:00

Best - Fa, la, la, la, la

Worst - For Marie, because she likes this kind of thing.

Day #3 So Many Lights, So Little Time

2009-12-03T20:01:00.000-08:00

So the first one we found tonight we are still debating about. It has so many lights it took three pictures just to get most of the full effect. They even remembered to decorate the stop sign. It might just be overkill, but I think its pretty awesome.

This next one we have here may seem obscene at first glance, but don't worry It's actually just a travel trailer thats been decorated with a big moving bell. Kind of cool but still......?

Christmas Contest - Day 2

2009-12-02T19:34:00.000-08:00

Day 2 - Here's our best and our worst.

First we have the classic example of beautiful Christmas lights.

The lights are placed perfectly.

There's no congregating of different styles of lights. For example, no icicle lights with the big bulbs.

The house is so well lit that you can see it well.

All in all, a favorite for tonight.

And...here's our worst.

It's so bad, that even the house is embarrassed to be seen with these lights.

Just a reminder, if you see a house that you think needs to be featured send me an email at derekbbarneyATyahooDOTcom.

The Awesomeness that is Music and Lights Together

2009-12-02T18:32:00.001-08:00

Last night when we went out to look at lights we went to the house that has the music and lights together. We took video of it but forgot to post it. So, here is our all time family favorite.

Plus, you get the bonus of a car driving right through the middle.

Enjoy!

Christmas Contest - Day 1

2009-12-01T20:04:00.000-08:00

As the family drove around looking at the lights tonight, we made the decision to change the contest slightly. Instead of just one picture a night we will post the best and worst of the day. Our best and worst may differ from yours so go ahead and comment either way.

The first one here belongs to one of my four loyal readers, unfortunately when we knocked on her door to ask permission she confessed that she hadn't actually read my blog recently and was unaware of the contest. I thought about demoting her from the ranks of my loyal readers, but lets face it, when your readers amount to less than you can count on one hand, you can't afford to be too picky or demanding. So here is her house, the best of the day, along with my idea of decorating (did I mention I loath hanging lights) that qualifies as our worst of the day.

First of all we have our favorite of the day. My wife saw this and called it the mullet, business in the front, party in the back. Just plain awesome! Because, lets face it who doesn't appreciate the awesomeness of a mullet in any form? Congrats Trina, you're our favorite of the day.

Business

Party

Second we have the single or lazy guys style of decorating. Why waste all that time hanging lights? You just take them back down anyway right? Instead lets just put a couple festive colored light bulbs in place of the normal ones above the garage and viola, done with the decorating.

National Lampoon's Christmas Light Contest

2009-11-30T19:49:00.000-08:00

My all time favorite Christmas movie is Christmas Vacation. One of the main parts of the movie is the decorating of the house with lights. One of our families favorite activities during the Christmas season is driving around looking at lights. In an ode to these two Christmas traditions, I have decided to enlist my family's help with a Christmas light contest. Here's how its going to work. Each day from tomorrow through the twenty fourth, we will post pictures of random Christmas lights that we see hanging around Southern Utah. These will range from the completely awesome, to the not so awesome, to the down right odd. Anyone will be eligible to be nominated during this time. So if you don't have large amounts of cash handy right now to really spruce up the yard, do not fear, just spread lights out randomly across the yard like an old neighbor of ours used to do and you will find a soft spot in our hearts and a place in the gallery. Now we come to the best part, the actual contest. Your job is to vote, by comment, on your favorite decorations and the day with the most comments will be the winning day. From there, we will take the comments and randomly pick the winner of an extremely sweet Christmas present that will be hand delivered on Christmas. Trust me when I tell you, this will be worth the time you take to enter. So have fun and check back for the best and worst Christmas decorations in Southern Utah. And one more thing, if anyone happens to spot a good or bad set of lights and wants to nominate them, send me a comment and we will have a special prize for you as well.

(If your house happens to appear in our top twenty-four, please don't take offense, we're laughing with you...not at you.)

It Was A Good Day

2009-11-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

Today was a good day for our family, particularly for our son Brandon. Today he won first place in the harvest of talents show at school. He played a piano piece and ended up getting to play it in front of the whole school! The very best part......he got a cool trophy.

Then to top off such a wonderful day he won the on time drawing at scouts tonight and won his dream toy, a small toy basketball hoop. I feel like most of the credit for that part lies with me though, and I'll tell you why. I somehow manage to make our family never on time for these things. Just last month, even though my phone said 5 minutes to 7, we were late because the clock at the church was fast. My objection to this, based on hard cell phone time evidence fell on deaf ears and we weren't allowed to enter the drawing. This month thanks to me, we were on time and he was able to secure this awesome prize. You're welcome son. All in all it was one good day!

So Much Different Than I was

2009-11-08T14:03:00.000-08:00

I had the opportunity to accompany the deacons on their camp out this last Friday night. I spend most of my time with the older boys and don't associate nearly as much as I should with these four youth.

I have to tell you, I am completely in awe of how much different these boys are compared to how my group of friends were at their age. They are so strong and close with each other, regardless of what anyone of them did or said, they stuck together and acted like the kind of young men we always want them to be. There weren't any favorites or any that received any undue teasing from the others, such a far cry from the way our groups behaved when I was that age.

We were a pretty tight group ourselves but there were times and more specifically, boys, that for some reason seemed to received the brunt of our unprovoked teasing more than they should have. There are those that I helped tease that I no longer know where they are and can probably never apologize to, and for that I will always be sorry.

But this Friday I was pleasantly surprised with the strength of the four youth I got to hang out with. They didn't seem to care that others may be what I consider more challenging to deal with, they didn't seem to care that everyone was different in one way or another, and they didn't seem to care when one made weird comments. They didn't care at all, they accepted and encouraged everyone, something I wish I had been able to do at their age. They are so much different than I was, and I'm grateful for that.

Ahead By a Squirrel

2009-10-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

For some time now I have been harboring feelings of jealousy towards my wife and her blogging skills. She always seems to have more comments, more visitors, better topics, better pictures, funnier stories and most importantly, more followers.

I lusted from the other side of the couch as I saw her follower total and hoped one day to match her or perhaps overtake and destroy her numbers. It never happened until today! I have pulled ahead and life is fantastic. What makes this day even better is the way in which I took the lead. The follower that put me ahead is a squirrel. Thats right, check out my followers and you will find a genuine squirrel blogger that has decided to join the ever growing, albeit slow, following that keeps me doing this. So thank you Mr. Squirrel, you have made my day!

My Favorite Part Of Fall

2009-10-21T16:45:00.000-07:00

This is what I've been waiting all year for. My favorite part of fall has to do with these tiny little nuts. Pine nuts hold a special place in my heart because of my father. More specifically they remind me of him. Every year, when the pine nut stands come out, I am reminded more deeply about my father.

It really isn't anything special about these nuts, just the fact that he had them. He always seemed to have some in his pockets. I looked forward to sharing these when we were outside doing something. I could almost always count on him having a pocketful at any given time.

My father passed away while I was serving a mission. Years later I borrowed his old hunting coat when I decided to go hunting again. There in the bottom of the pocket were a few lone pine nuts left over from who knows when. Each year this rite of fall gives me a chance to reflect and remember some special everyday events we shared. They also remind me that no matter how many great things we do for those we love, it will be the small and insignificant things we do on a daily basis that will be remembered long after we are gone.

1/2 Inch From Dying

2009-10-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

Through out my life I have had a number of near death experiences that in all reality should have taken me from this life. Many of them had to do with my inability to listen to others who knew more than I did, and some were caused by choices I intentionally made. I've had both of my parents and my wife and siblings involved in some way or another with helping me stay here.

I now just escaped death with another close call, I'm not sure how many I have left. My truck stopped working. One day it was running fine and the next morning, nothing, it wouldn't even start. we took it over and had it fixed and here's what happened.

The fuel pump had gone out, but it was more than that, the plastic around the wires had actually disintegrated to the point that the bare wires were exposed inside the gas tank! I was told that had they touched each other it very well could have blown my gas tank up. That didn't sound too appealing to me. I was then informed that someone must be looking out for me because these wires are only about a 1/2 inch apart and probably should have touched at some point in time.

I told my wife she had been a 1/2 inch away from being kind of rich, but she didn't find it as amusing as I did. I guess I still have a few things to learn here before its my turn to go.

Why I Run

2009-10-04T08:35:00.000-07:00

I want to thank again all those who joined me yesterday for the marathon, it was great to have that support. I'm definitely feeling the effects this morning, but I'm looking forward to next year. I think I'm going to do a conventional race and try the training approach before hand.

I've had a lot of people ask me why I chose to do a race that far and I've been thinking about that since yesterday, and I have my answer. I do it because running has been such a help in my life over the past five or six years. For those of you who know me really well, you know the person I was back then, and the person I am now. I hope you have been able to see the difference between them.

Back then I hated any form of pain, mental or physical, it didn't matter, I hated it all and would do anything to avoid it. I used alternate ways of dealing with pain that only masked it temporarily. It got to the point that to even be around my family required me to mask that pain in order to be able to function and interact with them.

I met a Bishop that invited me to run with him. Every other morning at 5:30 he would pick me up and we would run. I was ashamed to be around people back then and he taught me that because of what the Savior had done for me I didn't need to beat myself up anymore. On these runs, I worked through my own personal repentance process and faced the one thing that had been my downfall, pain. I learned that I didn't need to run from pain but needed to embrace it and accept that it can and does make you stronger.

I learned that pain is only temporary, even if it lasts for the duration of this life, and that it meant I was truly alive. Masking it meant I wasn't living to my full potential. While I still don't like pain, and thought about quitting many times yesterday, I didn't, and that's something that those who know me from before can say wouldn't have happened back then. I would have quit at the first sign of pain, I probably wouldn't have even started in the first place.

So that's why I do what I do, to prove to myself that I am still a better person than I was before.

That's why I run.

Race Damage

2009-10-03T12:17:00.000-07:00

Well I escaped with only 2 nails looking like this one. Not too shabby.

I'm done!

2009-10-03T11:48:00.001-07:00

Wow that sucked. I'm finally done. And I made my goal, the ice cream guy was still here! Thanks for all the support everyone, you guys are the best.

I'm neck and neck with an 80 year old man but he just pulled ahead

2009-10-03T10:20:00.001-07:00

This sucks

2009-10-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

I can see St George. But my legs are crap.

I need a burger

2009-10-03T09:49:00.000-07:00

Can someone bring me a burger, or pizza either one:)

I know this guy

2009-10-03T08:56:00.000-07:00

Milli Vanilli is my pacer!

1/2 way

2009-10-03T08:33:00.000-07:00

Only lost 2 toe nails yay

10 miles down

2009-10-03T07:54:00.000-07:00

Yeah! I'm going to train better next time.

Veyo hill

2009-10-03T07:13:00.000-07:00

7 miles.

I'm here

2009-10-03T05:22:00.000-07:00

I'm going to apologize in advance for any spelling or grammar errors today, I'm running so I don't care.

I just got off a bus that smelled oddly like bananas and ben gay. Not a great combination. Its freaking cold and I have to pee every 3 minutes like an old man. The ride seemed a lot farther than last year. Oh well, at least I'm here.

Carb Loading

2009-10-02T19:18:00.000-07:00

I know the normal pre race meal is usually pasta but I did this last year so why break tradition right?

Come Run The Marathon With Me!

2009-09-29T19:54:00.000-07:00

Due to my lack of training for the St. George Marathon this Saturday, I have decided that I need to find some way of taking my mind off the fact that I have to travel 26.2 miles on foot. I found something to carry my phone in and so you will have the chance to follow me on Saturday and see just what it looks like from inside the big race. I hope you'll join me, it starts early. Anytime you feel like commenting or encouraging, I get comments sent to the phone so its almost like you're talking to me. Just no telling me to go faster or stop walking. Anyways I hope to hear from you Saturday, check back throughout the morning for my blog from the road.

Bring A Rain Coat If You Watch A Scary Movie With My Wife

2009-09-27T20:29:00.000-07:00

You can't really tell from this picture but I was just witness to probably one of the funniest things I have ever seen.
We were in the middle of watching a show called Fringe when a very scary and intense scene happened. Melissa was holding a giant cup of water and actually jumped so bad that she spilled it all over her face. You read that right, she threw a cup of water in her own face because she was so scared.

If anyone needs a good laugh just invite her to the next scary movie you want to watch.

P.S. Look closely at her pants, she spilled it clear down there. (I hope)

Family Rodeo Fun?

2009-09-17T21:48:00.000-07:00

We took the kids to the rodeo tonight. I have always liked the clown shows, apparently smart people don't find them quite as amusing.

In fact both kids weren't as thrilled with the whole rodeo experience as we had hoped. Kendal seemed to be annoyed slightly with the sight of animals getting thrown around and roped for fun.

Our saving grace came in the form of free snow cones given to the kids by the people in front of us.

They said they bought them because they were afraid our kids would have whined if they came back with snow cones and our kids didn't have one. I think they did it because they were sick of hearing ours whining for something from the minute we got there. That or it might have been the fact that the guy was our kids dentist and needed some job security.

I'm Crazy

2009-09-16T16:31:00.000-07:00

We just started a cooking club at work, I have to be crazy to want to do this. The club is for about ten of the youth in the treatment program where I work. My job is to teach them how to cook. It should be pretty fun to have a bunch of teenagers in a program running around with knives right?

From time to time I will either post recipes or pictures, or both of some of the things we try making. If anyone decides to try the recipes, let me know how they turn out. The first one up is creamy carrot soup. Here is the recipe courtesy of the book Food Matters. If you really like the taste of carrots, this ones for you.

Creamy Carrot Soup

3 tablespoons olive oil
1 small onion chopped
1 1/2 lbs carrots chopped
1 large potato peeled and chopped
salt and pepper
6 cups vegetable stock (or chicken broth which I used)
1/4 cup parsley

Heat oil and cook carrots and potato until soft
add stock and cook for 15 min. Use a blender to puree the soup mixture. When creamy and no chunks are visible, return to heat to warm. Add parsley just before serving. Serves 4-5

There you go, our first recipe, remember if you try it, let me know what you think. The kids aren't fans of carrots but I liked it.

Training Has Begun

2009-09-10T11:30:00.000-07:00

As you may have noticed, the name at the top of my blog here has been changed with the addition of a couple letters. So to let you all know, I have been caffeine and soda pop free now for almost a month. I still crave the Diet Coke, but I have a purpose for doing such a crazy stunt.

I am now in the final month of my "no-training marathon training plan", and have started to look for any advantage I can find other than actually running to help me prepare for the 26.2 miles of fun coming up on October 3rd. If its any consolation, I have endured months of grueling mental training that I hope will be of some benefit during the race.

I have come to the realization that I will be going slower than last year which will actually be difficult to pull off in itself, but that's what you get when you don't train until September and then rely on the training plan that only includes the stoppage of soda and caffeine, one of which was the main reason I finished the thing last year.

In all actuality I have just now started to run with the help of a used treadmill my sister donated in an effort to keep me from scaring others on the road, so I will keep you informed on how the training is going. Who knows maybe I will take the Blackberry on the road during the race and post from there, that might be fun. I would just have to edit it well before sending.

Lesson From A Baptism

2009-09-08T15:13:00.000-07:00

This post is a little late but I figured I hadn't posted in awhile and this would be a good way to start one. My son was baptized last week and I just had to write a few of my observations from the event. As we headed to the baptism room, Brandon was as close to running in the church as he possibly could be. It could best be described as a cross between power walking and Olympic speed walking. (he knew not to full out run) Watching him go down the hall reminded me of what it means to have something important in our lives.

This was his big day, he had waited all year for this and he was so excited. He knew what he was doing was right and true and couldn't wait to accomplish it. He wanted it so badly and it was so important and special to him that he would have ran through anything to get down that hall and to the baptismal font.

It made me wonder why the older we get, the less often we feel like running towards the goals we want to accomplish. We tend to wander and meander our way through life and put off what we can and should do today, always meaning to do it tomorrow. One area I notice this happen more than it should is in my spiritual life. I remember the days where I, like my son, sprinted towards spiritual goals I had. There are many days now where I don't muster the speed of an old person with a walker.

My new goal is to become more like my 8 year old son, a sprinter in the spiritual sense of the word. I want to do better at things I often neglect. Prayer, scripture study, and even church and the callings associated with it often bring out the old man walker in me. I don't mean for these things to, but I have become weaker in them than I should, and when you are weak in something, you don't race off to do those things often. I want to be better so that when I see my son running full steam ahead, I wont have any regrets of my own in the back of my mind.

Good thoughts for the Chef...

2009-09-02T21:03:00.000-07:00

Hi all! This is the Chef's wife. The Chef is a little stressed. He's finishing up his last class for his Bachelor's and it is a doozy! He's been so busy all week and right now he's finishing up a three hour test online. And, he's decaffinated, so he can't get himself a big dose of caffeine to give him a little pep. So, I thought it'd be an awesome idea for everyone that reads to give him a few words of encouragment to help him get through the next couple days. I'll start:

My dear Chef, I sure love you! Thanks so much for all you do for the kids and I. You work so hard at work, and then you come home and work so hard doing homework so that you can provide a better life for us. I'm so thankful for all you do and for the wonderful husband and dad you are. You are amazing! I love you! {Just please, please, please don't ask me to help you with your homework anymore, my brain can't take it!}

Part 3

2009-08-28T16:41:00.000-07:00

Seriously this has gone on long enough. Its just a washing machine. Someone please call her so she has something else to do.

Family Fun Part 2

2009-08-28T12:36:00.000-07:00

Our son asked if he could go play and I told him to read a book or find something to do for a little while until his friends came home.....here is what he found. We really aren't this boring.

Family Fun...You're All Invited

2009-08-28T09:12:00.000-07:00

We got a new set of toys. For your enjoyment....a sneak peak of the next party we throw!

There's No Place Like Home

2009-08-18T16:12:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to go back home this last weekend to a wedding reception for a good family friend. Given that my going home only entails driving 13 miles to Washington, it wasn't too big of a deal for me. This family has been like a second family to me my whole entire life. I can't remember a day passing without either being there or having them at our home.

I have to confess I was a little nervous because I hadn't seen some of them including my best friend growing up, in several years. I was worried that we wouldn't have much in common, and even less to talk about. It turns out nothing could have been farther from the truth. From the minute we got out of the car until 3 hours later when we had finished helping them take down and clean the place up, it was as if I had never left. We sat and talked and I was perfectly at ease. We were welcomed in just like family, and in reality that's what we all consider each other anyway. I knew when it took us half an hour just to get into the wedding line, and then the father called out to my wife "hey gorgeous" that things were good.

If any of my three readers out there have ever experienced this type of atmosphere, you know how awesome it is. I felt like I was at a family reunion, and to make everything even better, the family I hadn't seen in years is doing so much better than they were when I left. They have almost all gone through the temple and I couldn't ask for more for them.

As I drove home that night, I couldn't help but think about true friends. We gain many friends as we travel through this life, but rarely do we have many TRUE friends. We have lots of people we can count as friends, but this type of friend, a childhood friend that you could still sit and talk with and rely on if you needed anything is a rare thing in this world. We should strive to cultivate more of these types of relationships.

A Perfect Night

2009-08-08T22:20:00.000-07:00

Tonight was one of those nights that I consider pretty close to perfection. I took the kids to the Road Runners game and we had a blast. To start we indulged in cupcakes from 25 Main. If you haven't tried them, go get some. They are amazing!

After we got seated the kids went off in search of the two big mascots dancing around so they could get their autographs. They came back with arms autographed in permanent marker. Just so you don't think I'm an unfit parent I did jump in and stop one huge bird from signing my five year olds forehead. Apparently this guy thinks its funny to sign his name on childrens foreheads. Come to think of it, that might be a little fun.(I wonder if they need any help tomorrow in nursery?)

Hmmm.....just a thought. We even got a foul ball during the game, so all in all it was a pretty sweet night.

My "Type"

2009-07-29T09:40:00.000-07:00

I must tell you, I have decided that I just may be one of the luckiest men in the world. How is that possible you might wonder, well I will enlighten you. I have been blessed with someone who has to be one of the most amazing women in the world. Last night as we were laying on the trampoline she asked me what my "type" of woman is. I told her she already knew and left it at that.

Here is my "type" if anyone cares to know.

Someone who lets me sleep in while she get up with the kids, even when she went to bed way later than me.

Someone who takes care of two perfect, but at times out of control, children all day and still finds time to do her vinyl business, piano lessons, and primary calling, and housework, and then tells me multiple times how thankful she is that I work so hard. (she runs circles around my hard work)

Someone who doesn't mind jumping on the trampoline while the kids and I throw water balloons in her general direction.

Someone who lets me go out and run at night so I don't gross anyone in town out, while she puts the kids to bed.

Someone who makes us eat at the table "like a real family" instead of watching Sponge Bob which was my preference.

Someone who doesn't care that I drink obscene amounts of soda, and always seems to know when I need one.

Someone who loves almost everyone without needed it in return. I have a long ways to go there.

Someone who can eat chocolate ice cream thing ( her creation) everyday and still look amazing, and doesn't seem to mind that I get fat just smelling that stuff.

Someone who doesn't care that I still haven't learned how to put the toilet paper roll on the holder instead of on top of it, or the way I only use a towel once and throw it on the floor most of the time, or that I tend to dry her shirts even when she reminds me not to.

Someone that entertains all of my weird and crazy ideas (minds out of the gutter people) like wanting to play guitar even though I am not musically inclined whatsoever.

Someone who takes the kids to the Wednesday free movie, giving me quite time to work on homework. I usually surf the internet instead, but she never gets mad.

Someone who continues to look better to me everyday of the twelve years I have known her. Seriously, have you seen her, ridiculously hot!

Someone that makes our family who they are, cause we all know that's been all her, without her I wouldn't be anywhere near the person I am today.

Someone who saved my life (literally) by bringing me back from a path I was on that would have led somewhere I didn't want to go. (Thank You, I absolutely love you for it)

So there you have the family safe version of my "type" of woman. If you see this "type" of woman around town make sure to tell her thanks for me, I don't do it nearly enough.

Victory Is Mine!

2009-07-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

Imagine my surprise when out of the blue, my biggest McDonald's critic called us up and suggested we accompany his family to none other than the golden arches! He may as well have been calling to admit defeat in the war of words concerning the type of heavenly cuisine we will be enjoying later in life. I even persuaded him to pose with this food item with the stipulation that his identity would be concealed from the public. Although he enjoyed the Bic Mac instead of the better choice of cheeseburger, I was just happy to see him enjoying life while eating the food of heaven. And I have to say, I forgive your previous negative comments concerning this issue and consider the matter resolved. I knew I was right!

Beer And Fireworks!

2009-07-23T22:57:00.000-07:00

I couldn't help but write about the amazing sales promotion going on at the red store tonight. Right inside the front door is a huge display of fireworks and right next to that are multiple displays of beer. I mean who brings the product out and decides hmmm..... these two items could possibly work together, what could possibly go wrong here? After all what is a pioneer celebration, or any celebration for that matter without a lot of beer and lots of dangerous explosives? Bring on the fun!

Three Foods In Heaven?

2009-07-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

So we finally made it home from Vacation last week and I felt I should share just a few more of our wonderful memories from that amazing car ride home. We had previously decided that the
awesome ten hour drive down there just wasn't what we had been hoping for so our plan was to try and increase the amount of time spent locked in a small car in the middle of the desert by at least a few hours. Mission accomplished! Twelve and a half hours later we rolled into Hurricane, just as hot as our vacation spot. There are two things that kept us sane through this drive and here they are in no particular order of importance.The first is completely self explanatory.

The second thing is we finally found the elusive Hostess Raspberry Filled Donuts.

Now this was no small task, we had gone a whole week without spotting one anywhere. I honestly think California has some sick ban on this delicacy. We looked in every store from Wal-Mart to Albertsons to the lowly gas stations, nobody carried these donuts. How can a state such as California not carry something like that? Because they are crazy that's how. They don't have these or fry sauce, no wonder we see so many driving towards our state from there. Those two food items are second and third possibly to the most important food ever invented.

I am thoroughly convinced that the food in heaven will consist of McDonald's Cheeseburgers. My wife and others are not so convinced but you will see when you get there, and you'll thank me for the suggestion. That would have to be what they eat up there, how could it not. Just go try one again and you will be convinced as well, just wash it down with a box of donuts and a diet coke. Enjoy!

Where's Kendal?

2009-07-16T09:42:00.000-07:00

So this is our last day of a week in sunny Palm Springs, and we cant wait to get back to temperatures that are just barely into the hundreds. While we loved the vacation, next time we might just look for a spot a little cooler than where we currently reside. We took lots of pictures that I'm sure Melissa will post within the next few days, but I wanted to leave you with a favorite of ours.

Our time at the pool was awesome, and one of the reasons why was our five year old. This picture reminded me of the childhood favorite book series "Where's Waldo". Every day at the pool, Kendal seemed to get brighter and whiter while everyone else seemed to get darker. Even Melissa came away with a slight suntan, but poor Kendal just seemed immune to the tanning effects of the sun here.

Well, we have to go checkout, see you all soon.

Is This Our Vacation?

2009-07-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

That's what our little five year old, the same unnamed one who we threatened to leave on the side of the road five times, asked every five minutes on the way here. Apparently to her, by hour nine of what should have been a six hour drive, this drive must be what we had planned for her to do on vacation. At the exact same time this was going on our seven year old decided that he would inform us of his dislike for the sun on his face, as it was making him hot. I decided not to inform him that we had left our desert home for an even hotter desert vacation because one child melting down in the car was enough at this moment, and I figured he would appreciate the surprise gift/sunny vacation we had decided to give him once we actually got there.

So after a little more than ten hours into our six hour drive, we arrived, and I must say we have had a blast in spite of the sun on our faces. We spent yesterday at the Angels/Yankees baseball game and before any of you remind me what day it was, let me tell you I already know it was Sunday. My mother informed me of that fact yesterday during the game, and didn't seem to care that technically the team is called the Angels so there is at least some religion going on there right? Before the game the kids got to go down and get a couple of autographs from some players and that was the highlight of the game for them, that and the food. After the game we got to go down on the field, my highlight, and watch the kids run the bases. AWESOME!

We decided after the first day in the massive pool/water slide area, that we are the whitest people here. Everyone either has tons of tattoos, or looks like George Hamilton. I think I've seen a few extremely tan ten year old's with more tattoos than normal this week. My son and I can blend in OK because we tan like normal people, my wife and daughter have not been blessed very well in that department, I think I may have to schedule a tattoo session for the both of them this afternoon so they can blend in, I wonder if they charge full price for five year old's?

DON'T TOUCH ME!!!

2009-07-10T11:31:00.000-07:00

We just barely passed Mesquite, Nevada. We just wanted to give you a running total of the excitement of our trip so far. It's off to a fantastic start.

Ten+ "Don't touch me's!!"

Seven "I'm going to spank your bum's!"

Four "I'm going to leave you on the side of the road's!"

Two emotional breakdowns by a certain 5 year old. (We won't name names.)

One seven year old with his shorts around his ankles peeing on the side of the road while the highway patrol drives by.

Nevermind, make that 5 "I'm going to leave you on the side of the road's!!"

Squirrel Sense

2009-07-03T13:43:00.000-07:00

On the back dock of my kitchen we leave a five gallon bucket that we toss scrap food into so the kids can feed the pigs we have. We also have a family of squirrels that have taken up residence on the small hill behind the kitchen.

These squirrels have a pretty sweet set up, they have free food almost anytime of the day, and have to do absolutely nothing to get it. But regardless of how lazy they have become, or maybe more appropriately, because of that laziness, I have learned two lessons from them.

The first one is pretty obvious to anyone who watches these squirrels. They don't have to work for anything. They live 20 feet from unlimited food. In our lives we can become lazy like these animals if we don't work towards some type of goal. If we have no opposition, we grow soft and helpless to do what really matters.

The second lesson has to do with that pig bucket we have. Every day the same thing happens without fail. A squirrel climbs up on the edge to get something out and falls in. The real problem starts when the squirrel falls in, because it then gets stuck in the leftover food and becomes so weighed down by it that it can't jump back out. We have to go out and tip the bucket so it can climb out and run away.

Like the squirrel, we sometimes find ourselves in situations that seem really easy to jump into and they entice us with the ease with which we can get what we want. The squirrels don't have to put much energy into jumping up on the bucket and then jumping into it to get the food, but the energy it takes to get back out is overwhelming. We can very easily slip into sin or wrong doing and only then find out we are too weighed down to get out. Like the animal in the bucket we then must rely on someone else to help us get out. How often do you feel like the squirrel in this picture?

Let Your Light So Shine

2009-07-01T15:46:00.000-07:00

In the book of Mathew is one of my favorite verses in all the scriptures. "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."

More often than not as we hurry to keep up with this ever increasingly fast paced life in which we live, we tend to forget this simple yet so profound piece of advice. We struggle to put in the hours at work, or become overwhelmed because no matter how hard we try the house just doesn't seem to get or stay looking how we envision it should. Our kids, spouse, or both, won't listen and seem to purposely be driving us out of our minds. And through all of it we let the light we have been commanded to share fizzle a little and sometimes just outright fade away completely.

Fortunately we are blessed at times throughout our busy lives to be reminded of the power and influence our one little light, properly allowed to shine, can have on a multitude of people. Today, for those attending Sister Campbells funeral, was one of those days. While I didn't know her very well, I have had the privilege of working with her children for a brief time.

I am blown away and humbled at the influence she had on not only her family but the many, and there were many, who came out to celebrate her life. Two things came to mind today as I sat there. First, if I could have only half of the people she had there when I die, I would consider myself a very fortunate person. And second, and most important, if my children and spouse have the testimonies as hers do, and can attribute even a small part of that to anything I may have done, like hers did, I will be a success.

We can travel through this life and pick up lots of sweet toys along the way, but everything we gain comes with a cost. Where we excel in one area we most certainly fall short in another. As we go along, my wish is that we can realize that its what we leave behind that matters most. Not toys and material things, but a testimony in a child, a spouse, certain of our love and devotion, and a family full of knowledge and faith.

The Unwelcome Son-In-Law

2009-06-29T20:53:00.000-07:00

I've done it this time. After twelve years of marriage and two kids I have finally done something so horrific, I very well may never be allowed to step foot in my in-laws home again. What could possibly be so horrible as to warrant this type of banishment you may ask? Well sit down and strap in, and please don't judge too harshly, I've been beaten enough.

I, the chef, did the unspeakable and very likely unpardonable act of what must surely be a desperate crazy person. That's the only way to explain my folly, legal temporary insanity, that will be my defense.

My Father-in-law has (had) a favorite television show that he was really excited for me to watch the other day. The show is called Operation Repo, and like the title states, is a show about people who repossess vehicles. Here is where my sin occurred. Before the show started I noticed a disclaimer stating that the show was a depiction of actual events, I didn't mention that to him. Every repossession that happened had either a fight, gun, naked blurry person running wildly, or midget in the scene. It struck me as maybe a little bit fake, just a little, but fake none the less.

Today we watched again, and again the same four types of scenes were portrayed for our viewing pleasure, and I must add, it is viewing pleasure at its best. Here is where my world fell apart. I may have mentioned the observations to those in attendance in the room. When that didn't seem to jar them from their fantasy I proceeded to pull up the internet and look up Operation Repo/fake, cause I knew it was. Ha..... I was most definitely correct, I knew bad acting when I saw it. Well little did I know what I had done. Here I had single-handedly ruined my father-in-laws once favorite show. He now didn't want anything to do with it. With each passing commercial he crept farther and farther from the tv and came back later and later after those commercials until finally he never returned at all.

Had I just looked past all the logical, common sense thoughts running through my head, I may have still been welcome in the home, but because of my adult a.d.d. which is still as yet undiagnosed but obvious to all, I am now an outcast in the home. My attempts at offering a real show such as our household favorite Wipe Out, also proved unappealing and unaccepted. Oh well maybe in another twelve years I can make it up to him.

Marathon Man

2009-06-29T13:52:00.000-07:00

I'm running a marathon! There it is, I've said it and now I'm stuck. Actually the fact that I paid for it already, coupled with the fact that I'm a cheap skate when it comes to wasting money like that, pretty much makes it impossible to back out now.

I probably should take you back to the beginning with regards to my running career. Three years ago my sweet yet very subtle wife suggested we run in a local 5k race a few months out. Now the problem with that suggestion is that she doesn't run for anything unless it involves a cup of her favorite chocolate ice cream treat. See, instead of just coming out and saying "I'm not going to continue to buy you larger clothing anymore; even if the dryer keeps shrinking everything you own and not touching the rest of the families clothes" she suggested, rather subtly how fun it would be for us to run together hand in hand across the finish line. I'm sold on any hand in hand action and my mind skimmed over the running part altogether.

As I trained, I began to notice a rather large lack of training coming from my better half. No need to worry I thought, hand in hand remember, she said hand in hand. So on I pushed just knowing somewhere late at night or very early she must be putting in the miles as I was.

To make a long story short, my wife ran the race without training, no hand holding occurred as advertised, she never ran again and I became hooked. So last year I tried my wife's approach to running and signed up for the St. George Marathon. I used her no training plan just to see how it would hold up in a marathon. While it worked for the local 5k, I really don't recommend it for any distance farther than that.

So this year I vow to do better, should be easy since I can't do much worse. So after months of grueling mental training, I have decided to put that mental toughness I have built up to work and begin training physically. Besides, isn't there some law or rule about an object in motion staying that way and getting really fast or something?

If you happen to be up in the darkest hours of the night you may catch a glimpse of me in all my training glory. Sorry it has to be so late, some city ordinance about eye sores being illegal during daylight hours. I don't make the rules. Anyways give me a honk if you catch a glimpse. You'll either get a wave or a bird depending on which mile I'm on. Oh yeah one more thing. You might want to look into the price of stock for Rock Star Zero Carb drinks. Something tells me its about to go up.

The Legendary Cornmelon

2009-06-28T21:42:00.000-07:00

As a young boy growing up in southern Mississippi, I remember the summers spent excitedly following the traveling circus that made its way through many small towns in that day. My mind was filled with scenes of wonder and mystery, the bearded lady, five hundred pound infant, worlds smallest tap dancing couple, the Elephant Man and many other incredible and awe inspiring sights.

Driving through the small town of Hurricane my sister-in-law, whose name I will change to protect her privacy, noticed a wonder I can honestly say I never thought I would see again. In a humble tent by the side of a semi-busy road one could almost call dirt, stood a sign advertising the cornmelon. Ah the legendary cornmelon, the mere mention of the name brings back such fond memories.

As a parent it is the perfect food to serve to a child, the delicate combination of fruit and vegetable satisfies any child's dietary needs, trust me I am a chef. If your child doesn't like veggies, it doesn't matter because it can be classified as a fruit, don't like fruit, jackpot its now a veggie. Kids everywhere love to eat this amazing cornmelon for one very awesome side effect. Although it doesn't look much like corn going in, there can be no denying the power of the cornmelon coming out. It gently reminds all who are fortunate enough to taste this wonder that yes indeed it can be called corn. Perfection in a silky husk covered cornmelon.

My sister-in-law Genny (name has been changed) really had no idea what to make of the sign advertising such a delicacy. If any of you out there have never seen this marvelous fruvegetable please drive over and check them out, don't believe Genny or I? Check out the picture I snapped based on the tip she gave me.